Infertility affects millions of couples around the world and is often not talked about. It can be a challenging and emotionally taxing experience, leading to feelings of grief, guilt, and anxiety. While dealing with infertility can be difficult enough, it can be equally tough for friends and loved ones who want to offer support, but are unsure about what to say.
I'm so thankful to my friends and loved ones who have been helpful and supportive while I am on my own fertility journey.
If you know someone who is dealing with infertility, here are some helpful tips on what to say (and not to say) to support them:
"I'm here for you."
One of the most important things you can say to someone dealing with infertility is that you are there for them. Let them know that you are available to listen, to provide emotional support, and to help them in any way you can. It is vital to show that you are not just there for them, but you are willing to stand by their side and support them through this challenging time. Be patient, and do not try to offer solutions or advice unless asked. Sometimes just being there for someone is the most powerful!
"I'm sorry you're going through this."
Infertility sucks! As someone experiencing it currently, I would give anything to get pregnant so easily and not have to spend thousands of dollars just for the chance of having a baby. Sympathizing with someone with infertility is very helpful. And just let them vent! We are dealing with multiple hospital bills, hormone medications, anxiety that we might never have kids, miscarriages, and negative pregnancy tests. Simply by showing your support and offering your sympathy can be very helpful.
"It's not your fault."
Infertility can lead to feelings of guilt and shame, and it is crucial to remind your loved one that this is not their fault. Infertility is a medical condition that affects many people, and it is not caused by anything they did or did not do. By reminding them that they are not to blame, you can help ease some of the emotional burden they may be feeling.
"What can I do to help?"
Ask your loved one if there is anything you can do to support them. It could be as simple as helping them research fertility clinics, accompanying them to appointments, or bringing over a meal to lighten their load. It is important to be specific in your offers of help, rather than making general statements like "let me know if you need anything."
"I believe in you."
Infertility can take a toll on a person's self-confidence and belief in their ability to conceive. By expressing your belief in them, you can help boost their self-esteem and give them the courage to keep going. Remind them that they are strong and resilient and that you have faith that they will overcome this challenge.
"I admire your strength."
Dealing with infertility requires a lot of emotional and physical strength. Let your loved one know that you admire their resilience and perseverance in the face of this challenge.
Acknowledge the hard work and effort they are putting in to try to conceive and raise a family.
A few things you should not say to someone with infertility, or in general! You never know what someone is going through and it's better to just not bring it up at all!
"When are you going to have a kid/ more kids?"
"Just relax"
"Just get drunk and you'll get pregnant"
"Maybe you should just adopt"
"The clock is ticking, you should really have kids soon!"
"Kids are stressful anyways, be happy you don't have any!"
"You can have my kid if you want!"
"Everything happens for a reason"
In conclusion, supporting someone dealing with infertility can be a challenging task. However, by following these tips and offering compassion, you can make a significant difference in your loved one's life. Remember to be patient, listen without judgment, and offer specific help when needed. Most importantly, remind them that they are not alone, and you are there for them every step of the way.
Thank you for being there for me! I am happy to answer any questions you have. By being open about my own fertility journey, I'm hoping to remove some of the stigma surrounding it and bring more awareness to the many people experiencing it as well.
- Lex
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