Today was supposed to by the first day of my first #IVFcycle
I'm not going to lie, I've been really sad the past few days. I tried filling my time with things to do this weekend with Sean and seeing friends, but I just haven't felt okay.
Last Wednesday, I had my last appointment at the clinic that I was going to be doing the IVF treatment. They did a sonogram and ultrasound to make sure that everything was ready to go for Monday, 6/26/23 (today as I'm writing this). I knew that I had another ovarian cyst that they have been monitoring since March.
You can read all about my first ovarian cyst and surgery from 2022 here: https://www.thelexiconoflife.com/post/the-other-f-word
I kept asking if the cyst was going to be an issue for my IVF cycle, and they said it shouldn't be a problem, but they would keep an eye on it and let me know if we will have to postpone the treatment. And unfortunately, on Friday, 6/23/23, I spoke to one of the doctors who said she was worried about continuing with the IVF treatment, not knowing how the cyst would respond.
I spent all day on Friday doing my own research, speaking to other women who have gone through IVF with a cyst, as well as other medical professionals that I trust. After all my research and conversations, I have decided to follow my doctor's recommendation and get the cyst removed before resuming IVF.
It's devastating.
I finally felt (mentally) ready to start the multiple days of injections, the unknown hormonal changes, multiple doctor's visits and blood draws/ ultrasounds. I was excited to finally have the chance of having a baby this year (if all worked out from the IVF). And now I feel like I'm starting back at the beginning, in December when I had my first surgery. After having the surgery (which is currently not scheduled) I will have to wait a few more months before I can even start the process again. And my doctor let me know that I am one of the "special ones" and that less than 10% of women experience cysts on both ovaries that need to be removed. So yay for being special?
I'm trying to take this as a sign that it's not the right time, and if it is meant to happen, it will happen. But I also just can't help feel sad and defeated, that my dream is even further in the distance.
Thank you to everyone who has been supportive of Sean and me through this whole process! I'm hoping to try to enjoy the summer in Denver as much as possible, and try to plan a trip or two to get my mind off things.
Thanks for reading! You don't know how therapeutic it is to write all these blog posts, even if it's just me reading them. But if you are reading it, I thank you!
- Lex
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